03 Impermanence


I was going to write about change and how to navigate through tough times sometime later, but this was the topic of Sunday morning meditation, so I wanted to go ahead and write about it now.

There is something that we ultimately know but tend to forget in our daily lives, and that is change. In the words of modern Buddhism: “Everything is permanently impermanent”. Things are always consistently and constantly changing.

We cannot stop the change. Situations are changing, people and things around us are changing, our bodies are changing. Even our mind is changing, which is seventeen times faster than the change of our bodies.

We are labeling things that do not exist. We are attached to places, people, situations, and things. We hold on to impermanent things, and we suffer when they are gone. If we lean on an impermanent thing, we fall with it when it falls. We then build worries, anxiety, and tension. If we accept the change, we would go along with it instead of attaching it to the imaginary truth.

Although we know that the change is the ultimate truth, none teaches us to practice it and realize that ourselves and our minds are not permanent too. Instead of trying to stop changes, control, or reverse, we can focus on our change in a positive way.

When I started my physical, mental and spiritual healing journey, I was pretty much hopeless and low. I thought that I will never change. Rewiring the mind, reversing the physiological effects, and communicating with my soul sounded like science fiction, not regular neurology, psychology, or biology. I have been witnessing my change every single day when I face my patterns and bad habits, their reasons, and practicing a lot to replace them. I know that not everyone has the deep motivation and time to change fast, but just stick to it, be confident and consistent.

I almost cried when my therapist said that “look, you needed a parent figure to navigate through your insecurities, now you can be a parent”. I never wanted to be a parent, maybe because of the negative patterns that I got from my parents and grandparents, and carried them for so long.

Our Buddhist nun said to me (and to my journey friend) that she is so happy to see that we get things, analyze and apply in our lives. I thought I was stuck in this life, body, and mind, and I can never change them. Now, I am trying not to be attached to the past or present moment, I am trying to be okay with changes, and do my best to go with the flow.

Things do not exist unless we name them. Hate, anger, frustration, and irritation towards things or people are our narratives. A stranger can be a friend if you want to. Foes can be also your friends if you change your perspectives. It is of course not about sticking to an abusive partnership/friendship but filling your heart with love and kindness.

Sometimes we are less kind to our close ones, even to ourselves. We get lost in small impermanent daily routines and forget that all are changing every minute. The only thing we can control is our change, so we can go along with the change harmoniously. The first step is to observe our thoughts, actions, and perspectives, and be kind to ourselves. If we love ourselves, we can love the world.

Practice: Some changes will come like a tornado. You should be mentally and physically ready and filled with kindness and love in your inner world. Train your mind, so when bad things happen, you can see them as an opportunity to test your strength and contribute to your inner growth.

“Step back, take a deep breath, observe your thoughts, accept the change and let it go”.